Saturday, February 23, 2013

A Bold Move ...

Have you ever had a conversation with a kid that left you speechless? Left wondering where your audacity as an adult went? Left wondering where his comes from? 

My experience was with my own. My six year old.

Of course, between the four boys I am astounded just about everyday with something that proceeds from one if not two of their mouths daily. 

Sometimes hilarious.

 Sometimes so incredibly deep. 


Kollin and I were solo tonight for karate practice.
 We had many stops to make afterwards including Ross for a new shower curtain, Target for some chicken for next week's dinners (and some Resse Eggs for my Dad), Taco Bell for roll-ups and a quick stop by my Dad's house for some firewood. Our normal singing and chit chat took place - some TobyMac of course. One thing Kollin and I know how to do is sing to some TobyMac. I try often though to talk to him and ask him questions. 

What's your favorite thing we did this week in school?

How was baseball practice?

I could tell you loved sparring, didn't you?

I try to fit in as much as possible while it's just me and him. But after we left my Dad's house, the conversation that took place brought tears to my eyes.

We were almost home and I could just tell there was something weighing heavy on his mind. Something was bothering him. After I asked a couple times, he blurted out "I just don't want to hurt your feelings Mommy." 

I was waiting for something to follow like "Your breath smells" or "I have gas Mommy". Seriously. Those statements would not be far fetched. 

After some "Don't worry, Mommys are strong" persuasion, he went on. 

Here is what he said:

"Mommy, I'm just worried. I'm worried about my Poppie. I know he is your Daddy, so that's why I don't want to hurt your feelings. But Mommy, I'm not sure Poppie has Jesus in his heart. I mean I just want him to be happy. Happy like I'm happy. Ya know? That kind of happy that you have when Jesus is your friend."

I assured him that he knew Jesus. And I know that he does. My Dad at one point, before I was born, was a firm believer. A walker with Christ. 

Then some things happened. And he turned away from God. 

I think about this often. Like Kollin, I worry about my Dad.  

Kollin went on asking that if he knew Jesus then why didn't Poppie go to church. 

No answer. 

He asked if I had ever talked to him about it ... if I had ever "checked" on him.

My answer was no. 

I felt ashamed. 

Why haven't I? 

Why haven't I taken the time to talk to him about his walk with Christ and where he stood with Him? 

The fear of rejection, that was it. I've never crossed that line with my Dad for many reasons. Partly because I know his answers will be short. To the point. Just an answer to make me stop asking questions. 

But at that moment my six year old did something that astounded me. We pulled into the driveway and Kollin asked for my phone. 

He wanted to call him. His Poppie. My Dad. Right then.

He said he felt something in his heart telling him to call Poppie. And just like that he did. He waited for him to answer and so boldly asked him the question about Jesus and his heart. 

I felt proud. Like the kind of proud on the beginning scene of The Lion King where the monkey holds up Simba for the kingdom to see. Yea, that kind of proud. This is my kid. The kid who is not afraid to boldly witness to his Poppie. 

Shouldn't all of us be this way? 

Isn't this our job as followers of Christ? 

How often have I felt something tug in my heart and how often have I ignored it? 

At the end of the day, my son asked my Dad about his relationship with Jesus and invited him to church this weekend. Whether or not he will come, I don't know. But I do know there has been a seed planted. He will hear that little voice of his grandson in the back of his head, I'm sure of it. 

And I will be sure to listen to those little tugs in my heart. I've also been reminded to pray for my loved ones that are lost. 

Thank you Kollin, you've made Mommy proud.

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