Those Sweet Glimpses ...

Do you ever see glimpses of your childhood?

I did today. 

This year our family has endured too many losses. And as much as I hate to say this, it took those losses to shake us to our core and decide to spend more time together as a family.

Growing up, Easter was always, always, always spent at Grandma and Grandpa's. With a juicy ham, too many deviled eggs to count, okra and sweet cream corn. And of course there was always the Egg Hunt. I can remember having to hide in the back bedroom while the eggs were being hid, oh the anticipation. I can remember filling my basket and retreating to the living room to dump them all out to see what goodies I got. 

And this year, I was so thankful to watch my babies enjoy that same tradition. It's been, only the Lord knows how long, since we had Easter at Grandma and Grandpa's. There was ham, okra, deviled eggs, sweet cream corn, the list goes on and on. And there was the Egg Hunt.

I'm just gonna say this. My generation has blown the last generation out of the water in offspring. Good Lord. I lost count after 25. You try countin' kids while they're all runnin' around lookin' for eggs.

I am so thankful for my Grandma and Grandpa. Good Lord, look what they've done!

All these kiddos, what a blessing they are! Drive ya a little crazy, but a blessing still!

Sugar Lump wasn't feeling too swift this weekend, so her Daddy's arms was where she wanted to be. No Solo Egg Hunting for her this year. 

I think this was my favorite picture of all from today! I just love those sweet smiles from Kohen.

 This Easter Season has been a doozy for us. Lots of sickness shenanigans, last minute shopping, yucky weather. But this. This is what is important. Family coming together, loving on one another and having some fun. 

I am so thankful for this big family of mine! My Grandma is 85 Years Old, my Grandpa is 90. I have 5 Aunts, 4 Uncles and 14 Cousins and remember, I lost count at the Second Cousins. We are crazy and country and strong as all get out. Plain and simple, I am thankful to call them mine. 

I am excited for the years to come, for the future Easter get togethers, to see my children enjoy this tradition like I did!

Happy Easter Y'all!

 

To My Weeping Mommas ...

I sat on the couch and wept. 

How could it be that after so much effort and time that my world seemed to be crumbling right beneath me?

How could it be after nearly 12 years of marriage that I looked at my husband some days and wondered who he was and where our sappy love had went to? 

How could it be after pouring into my children day in and day out there was still a struggle with respect, obedience and making the right choices everyday? 

How?

I sat on the couch and wept. I was in one of the most vulnerable states I had ever been in in my life. I knew no one in the flesh could give me the answer I needed to hear. The answer I needed for my spirit. 

It was nothing my husband could say. It was nothing my preacher could say. It was nothing my best friend could say. 

Through tear filled eyes, I reached over and grabbed the Bible sitting beside the lamp in our living room. 

"Show me, Lord. Show me." I began to whisper over and over again as I gripped His Word. 

And as if my fingers had no control anymore, I began to flip to Jeremiah.

My eyes began to see, my mind began to read, my heart began to fill. 

"Cries of fear are heard - terror not peace."

"It will be a time of trouble ... but you will be saved out of it."

"Do not fear ... do not be dismayed."

"There is no one to plead your cause, no remedy for your sore, no healing for you. All your allies have forgotten you; they care nothing for you."

When I first hit the couch in pure defeat, I felt so alone. I felt as though no one understood me or even knew for that matter just how abandoned and isolated I felt. Now I knew there was One who did understand me. He saw my tears. He heard my cries.

"I will restore you to health and heal your wounds."

"I will restore the fortunes of Jacob's tents and have compassion on his dwellings."

"I will add to their numbers and they will not be decreased."

"I will come to give you rest ..."

"I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt."

He began to show me what my future would look like. 

"They will rejoice in the bounty of the Lord - the grain, the new wine, the oil."

"They will be like a well-watered garden, and they will sorrow no more."

"I will turn your mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow."

I stopped there though, thinking I had what I needed to pick up the pieces. And still I wept. My heart needed more. I needed something just for the Momma in me. 

And just as God saw Rachel weeping so many years ago and comforted her with these words, He saw me in my own mess and used these same words to calm me too.

"Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded."

There it was. Above all I had read, this was the yummy icing on the most delicious cake I had ever eaten. 

Mommas.

Our work will be rewarded.

The late night feedings.

The potty training.

The hours of school work we help with.

The sock folding.

The mundane task of sweeping and resweeping and sweeping again. In one day.

The thousands of diapers we change.

The disciplining.

The books we read over and over.

The tying of shoes.

The loading and unloading and loading and unloading of the dishwasher.

The thousands of bowls of cereal we make.

The mouths we wipe. 

The same toys we clean up over and over and over again.

The refereeing we do.

The vacuuming.

The prayers we pray for them.

The devotions we read to them.

Our work will be rewarded.

My work will be rewarded.

Your work will be rewarded.

So to my weeping Mommas, know your cries are heard, know you will be restored and your work will be rewarded.

As Your Day ...

If you follow me on Facebook, you may or may not have seen lots of updates lately with the hashtag #jesuscalling at the end. 

If you don't have a devotion book you adore, get this one.

Jesus Calling is the sweetest, most tender devotion book I have ever read. Man or woman, Daddy or Momma, Grandmother, Teacher, Old or Young - this book is for us all. 

Today's devotion hit me hard and I wanted to share it with you. It read like this:

          "Do not let any set of circumstances intimidate you. The more challenging your day, the more of My Power I place at your disposal. You seem to think that I empower you equally each day, but this is not so. Your tendency upon awakening is to assess the difficulties ahead of you, measuring them against your average strength. This is an exercise in unreality. 

           I know what each of your days will contain, and I empower you accordingly. The degree to which I strengthen you on a given day is based mainly on two variables: the difficulty of your circumstances and your willingness to depend on Me for help.  Try to view challenging days as opportunities to receive more of My Power than usual. Look to Me for all that you need, and watch to see what I will do. As your day, so shall your strength be."

It is that last line that caught my attention. I almost didn't understand it at first. As your day, so shall your strength be. I read that one line over and over. It wasn't until I read in Deuteronomy 33 that I understood what this statement meant. The Bible reads, " Your sandals shall be iron and bronze; as your days, so shall your strength be. There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides the heavens to help you, and in His excellency on the clouds. The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms ..."

We have a Father who knows our days ahead of us, who knows the battles we will face. He knows when we need a double dose of His strength, love and power. He knows. Isn't that great? Why in the world do we not lean on Him more? This morning I learned I am going to need Him more some days than others. And He is okay with that. He is already geared up and waiting with the extra umph I'm gonna need that day.

Tonight, Travis and I gathered up the kiddos (minus one who was with MawMaw at karate) and went for a bike ride around the neighborhood. Kruz insisted on riding his own bike, so instead of telling him not to (knowing he would tire out quickly) I rooted him on. I "strengthened" him with my words and for the beginning of the ride, that was all he needed.

Half way through the neighborhood, his little legs tired out and he was starting to lag behind. As he became more and more discouraged, I knew my words were no longer enough. The Hubs loaded up his bike and let him ride the rest of the way with Kohen and Khloe. We knew him well enough to know when he needed extra strength from us, an extra push, as our Heavenly Father does the same way with us. 

So that line. That one line. It means the world to me now. I am reassured that God gives me the exact amount of strength I need each day. 

All we have to do is ask.