Wednesday, June 26, 2013

It's Not Too Much To Ask ... Is It?

Have you ever really sat back and asked yourself what you want for your kids? 
I mean, of course you want health and happiness. Go past that. What morals, values, priorities and traditions do you want them to carry?

I attended a funeral this past week for one of Travis' grandmothers. She was a sweet lady - nothing over 85 pounds, feisty as a chihuahua and would have given you anything you asked for, as long as she thought it was a good idea. Her sweet tea was terrible and she always put Kollin's diapers on backwards when he was a wee little one, then wondered why his little cheeks hung out of the bottom. She was so good to my husband and made up for some of the times his parents fell short. 

I stood next to my husband holding Kohen, watching this family be as awkward as ever. 

Sisters not recognizing one another. 


One of his aunts asked him who he was.   

And I wondered to myself, when did this happen? If Grandma Bell could see them now, would she say "This is not what I wanted for my children."

It seems as though I do a lot of thinking during funeral services. Maybe because it's so quiet. Maybe because it's a reminder that life isn't forever. As I watched her children sit in the front rows, I wondered if this was what she wanted. I can only think she would have wanted more for her own; closeness, a sense of belonging. And I began to think about what I want for my own. My boys. 

I want my boys to become great men of God. I want them to stand firm on their beliefs and know that being a Christian isn't always easy. In fact, sometimes it's downright difficult. In a world where so many people rely on fleshly fulfillments, sometimes it's hard to remember the right place to run. I want them to believe in miracles, healing and blessings. Not luck. 

I want them to always respect their elders. 

I want them to honor women, now and later. Always. I am teaching them now to always ask me if I need help, carry grocery bags for me and open doors. It's important they know how to treat women with respect and in my opinion, that starts now with me. 

I want them to be quick to forgive. 


I want my children to always, always have a home to come to. For holidays and special occasions of course, but a place of refuge, a place without judgement. A home filled with love and laughter.

I want them to always live "right down the road".

I want my children to love others. As we prepare our children and our lives for adoption, we want our boys to know no difference in race or background. We have all been created by God, every one of us. And I want their hearts to reach out to those who may not know love from anyone else. 

I want my children to always see their parents in love. No matter our age, no matter the circumstance. I want our marriage to be an example for our boys and their wives. I want them to know that through the rough spots we still love each other, through the disappointments and through the heartaches. I want them to see us pray through problems together. 

I want them to always put their family first. So often around us families fall apart and give up on one another. I want them to always know we are on the Rock. I want them to always be close to each other, as brothers, as best friends. I want their children to grow up as best friends too.

 I mean c'mon. Is this too much to ask? 
I think not.

1 comment:

  1. Sniff. I love it. I love how you are raising those boys. Your boys will become men who become husbands and fathers. My daughters will one day be wives and mothers. I pray my girls are surrounded by loving, respectful men who love God. I am thankful for moms like you who do everything they can to ensure that their sons are assets to the world and "doers" for God's kingdom on Earth.

    When I read all the awful things that some men perpetuate on women and girls, I am frightened for my daughters. I try to always remember to pray for them, to lay my hands on them and ask God's protection over them. But I still worry. It assures my heart to know that mothers like you are raising boys like yours! =)