Wednesday, January 22, 2014

The Little Momma That Could ...

Have you ever read that book The Little Engine That Could? That's about how I am right now.

 I just keep repeating, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." 


So this is me - I get this little, teensy bit of energy back last week and what do I do? Totally overdo it. I feel this small bit of energy and think I am SuperMom or something. I take all the boys grocery shopping, hit up LegoLand for a whole day, go to  a wedding shower and host a Station 7 Reunion at my house - all in three days. 
And so, what happens? I hit rock bottom again and feel like poo, depleted and in need to sleep for days and days. 

Pretty much, I am forcing myself to rest right now. Forcing myself to let the laundry be undone, dishes to remain in the sink and letting my kids eat cereal for dinner. After all, I am making a human right now. And this human or humans apparently require lots and lots  of this Momma's energy. I have to remind myself of that minute by minute.

This human making process has been very different than all the rest and I am still sticking to the thoughts of me making two humans right now. I will be completely shocked if there is only one little peanut growing in there when we go for our ultrasound in a couple weeks. I know - all pregnancies are different and I expect that. There is just something about this one though that is just extra ... weird I guess. Amongst other differences this go 'round, I have had major hip and lower back pain. It is worse some days than others and the last couple days, it has been so bad I can hardly stand to be up and about. My sweet Momma brought me a heating pad last night and that has been helping tons. In order to be on a heating pad though, I have to be sitting or laying. And for me, that is so tough. When I say I am forcing myself to let the house just be and rest, I literally mean it is killing me. I do for my boys. That is just what I do. I am a full time Momma with a full time student/working husband - in other words, I. do. not. stop. And now, I have to. And well, it. is. killing. me. 

On the total up side of this human making deal, I have started feeling the peanut(s) move a lot lately. I am telling you, there is nothing like feeling those flutters. I can't wait until the boys and the husband can feel the little one(s) move around in there. 

And it's a good thing Kohen is here with me. He reminds me everyday of what will come of this tough time right now. A sweet, precious baby. I have had so many people ask what in the world the husband and I are thinking: expanding our family while he is in school, while his jobs are all crazy right now. And well, we don't see more babies as added stress or just another responsibility. We see them as new joy, a new one to hold and cuddle. Babies actually lessen my stress levels. I know, I'm crazy. There is just something about bringing home a new baby that brings peace and comfort to my heart. We are so excited to be expanding our family with two (or four) more feet. Even if our lives are a little out-of-sorts right now. 

And I must say that if it weren't for my Momma, MawMaw and PawPaw here lately, I don't know how crazy I'd be. Between the three of them, I have been brought dinners, lunches, had the boys bathed and put to bed, been encouraged with prayers and sweet, exciting words, have been brought pacis because Kohen's went missing at bedtime, have had busted pipes fixed, have had laundry folded for me and I am sure there is more to add. So I say thank you to these three. You guys remind me everyday how blessed our family is.

Until next time week - I will keep resting, schooling the boys from my bed, watching Sister Wives and eating Ben and Jerry's daily. 

I will go fold some socks though. Poor Kollin ... earlier he said, "Mommy. I know you don't feel good right now. But Lord, could I please just get some socks in my drawer?"

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