The One I Worried About ...

Kollin prayed her into this world ...

Kolt asked every single day when she would be here ...

Kruz constantly talked about all the things he would teach her ... 

Kohen? My KoKo just didn't get it. The whole baby concept. Sure, he pointed to my belly and said "baby" about a thousand times a day. Me and every other person we saw had babies in their belly. Seriously, he had no clue what was coming. 

And in all the times we have added to our family, I have never felt so guilty as I did this time around. Kohen has remained such a needy little guy. He is no hurry to be independent, no hurry to pick playing over snuggles with me, no hurry to be a Big Kid, no hurry to dress himself, no hurry to be like his Big Brothers. Lets just be real here, the kid is a Mommas's Boy, attached to my hip. There ain't no way around it.

The baby of the family always endures the most changes when a new baby comes. More than likely they'll get kicked out of their crib, their paci gets yanked from their possession and potty training will hit them like a ton of bricks. In the past, I have always been so adamant about having these jobs accomplished before a new little one arrives. Moving Kohen out of the crib and into a twin bed about killed me. In fact, after the crib had been disassembled to be refinished, I put him into a Pack-N-Play for like a month because I just couldn't stand the thought of him in such a gigantic bed. In a bed that appeared would swallow my Momma's Boy right up. As far as the paci and potty training goes, he's sucking on one right now and is wearing a diaper too. 

Baby steps. 

So last Wednesday the boys came bursting through the doors to meet their Little Sister. I was facing my worries, how was Kohen going to react to seeing his Mommy holding a baby? Kohen came in and asked for his Daddy. His Daddy. I was shocked and a little broken hearted. He hardly even acknowledged me, much less the baby. He didn't cry when it was time for him to leave us either, another thing that had plagued me for weeks - how was Kohen going to be about leaving his Mommy again? 

We came home Thursday afternoon, I came through the doors just wanting to hug him and snuggle him and he ran right passed me and reached up for Travis. The next few days were just like that, I think he was mad at me y'all. I have been preparing myself for him to scream at the sight of me holding Khloe and him trying to push her out of my arms. And I got the exact opposite, I got the cold shoulder. And it kind of made my heart ache a little. 

It wasn't until Monday, when Travis left to work, that he finally came around to me. He crawled in the bed with me that morning and we cuddled. We shared a bowl of cereal for breakfast. He reached up for me to hold him and I snatched him up so fast. 

It wasn't until Monday that he acknowledged his Baby Sister. He climbed onto the couch and started patting his lap, asking for "Baby" over and over. He held her, smiled at her, jerked her paci out, shoved it back in her mouth, "sssshhhhh"ed her when she started to cry, let her tiny fingers wrap around his and tried to pop her in the head with her bow. 

She started to fuss and Kohen rubbed her belly and then he started to sing to her. To hear his sweet little voice calm her made my cup run over. He loves her, I thought. He's not going to try to hurt her, he actually likes her. After a good ten minutes, I had to pry her away from him and it's been that way ever since Monday. Kohen asks to hold her every morning, every afternoon and every night. And if I can, I let him take her in his arms and sing to her.