Tuesday, August 23, 2011

praying for a memory

kollin is off at mawmaws tonight and that usually means that the middle munchkin will be in bed with us tonight. i laid here with him and of course we giggled some and talked and before too long all was quiet. for about ten minutes, i laid there and listened to kolt breathe and began to thank god for him. he is such a blessing to me. i began to well up with tears when a little voice broke the silence, mommy will you scratch my back? of course i said yes and i began to fulfill this little angels request. at the same time i began to cry and pray for god to give me an amazing memory. i pray i am able to remember that little voice and the imperfect way he pronounces his words. i prayed to god to remember the smoothness of his skin and all of the other details of this moment with him. something so simple to those who may be reading this, but something i pray to never forget. after i scratched his back for a few minutes i could hear the heaviness of his breathing and knew he was out for the night. i laid there and just let my tears run. my baby is getting so big. it seems like just yesterday we were with him in the nicu, then introducing him to kollin, then watching him eat his first real foods, then walking, now he is three. and asking me to scratch his back. these small, simple moments just like those mentioned before, will be gone in a flash. as all of these memories of my kolt flashed through my mind, i felt a chunky little arm wrap around my neck. we laid there like that and i just soaked it all in. im going to bed now, but i had to post this. excuse the poor puncuation and grammar but the blogger app apparently doesnt allow puncuation other than commas. or capital letters. or smiley faces, which is what would have gone here. on that note, im going to cuddle with kolt, night night.

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